7515 Apartment 3-D

Dear Apartment 3-D,

People have always laughed a little when I tell them where I live, like you're an IMAX theater, but I'm fiercely serious about you. 3-D, you're no joke to me, like you are my ugly child and I refuse to acknowledge the fact that your ears stick out.

In the interest of full disclosure, I should say that I leapt into you impulsively like some do with matrimony. In a giddy rush, I signed that lease, picturing so many things -- you and me and my sister, you and me and my boyfriend. I didn't picture just you and me, frankly. I didn't anticipate so much quality time, but I think this was my fault entirely. I guess part of my hurry to enter into a contract with you was to get away from somewhere else, and nobody could reasonably hold you culpable. I sure don't.

I've taken you for granted, 3-D, you and your appliances. I've known that I could count on the ease of your lightning-quick dishwasher, so I've let my messes pile high. I've strewn my grading and my dirty clothes all around. I'm sorry. Sort of. Maybe that's just part and parcel of what it means to live with me, mister.

But I've also loved you wantonly. In an April flurry, I blasted your walls with my orange and yellow enthusiasm, and I festooned you with tree roots and a prayer garden. I hung a bird feeder and ribbons with wishes. And I've always been wholly enamored by your fireplace. I've roasted my toes and my back dozens of times, and I would happily reside in your warm glow all day long if teeth didn't need brushed and students didn't need taught. I've spent hours outside on your soft lawn, my blanket and I basking in pretty words and in quiet. We've had some good times. It was never meant to be a forever thing with us, and I think we both knew that, but we've gotten used to each other and I'll be a little sad to see you go.

Our days are numbered, 3-D. Perhaps in light of this new knowledge, I see you more fondly. In my literature classes, I teach students about round and flat characters, the former with complexities and nuances, and the latter without. Well, to me, 3-D, you've always been a delightfully round character. Three-dimensional all the way.

Let's make the most of our last days, and let's part on good terms. Okay?

Sincerely,

Erinn